A child groomed with good manners
acquires social skills easily. Early years’ behaviour patterns depend on many
factors—such as family atmosphere, social surroundings, emotional support, influence
of media (mostly TV) and how parents deal with it. We should realise that grooming
the child with good manners is a strategic methodology that need to be
carefully practised. The best way is to be the role model and behave in the
desired way. Then you may initiate your child to behave in the same way with
gentle instructions. Children love to imitate their role models. But there are
times when they do not behave the way we expect them to. They might be rowdy in
public and might embarrass you in a mall. They might interrupt you, or worse,
contradict you in front of the guests who have come for dinner. Or, they can be
just unruly at the table in the restaurant. They might tear off story book of
another child for no good reason. They might refuse to eat the pulao you made
and want to eat chips/chocolate/noodles… and so on. There can be unending list
of situations and scenario where bad manners might show up.
I may suggest a few tips. Invariably
praise the good manners and show that it pleases you. If you need to rebuke at
some bad manner, keep it short… maybe just ‘No’ or ‘Don’t’. Sometimes just a
warning look should be enough. Even a one year old child understands approval
and disapproval of the behaviour in terms of smiles, gestures, stern look and
pointing finger. And always encourage them to even up the wrongdoing by saying
‘Sorry’. But don’t try to shame the child further because that will be damaging
at this age. And NEVER SHOUT. It never helps. That’s for sure. Shouting creates
a kind of distance and natural reflexes try to shut out the noise. So the
meaning of those angry words yelled at high decibels will never be received by
the child and hence, will be of no positive use. On the contrary, this may
inflict a shock upon the child with further regretful consequences.
Children need your holistic care
and a lot of love and affection to thrive and bloom into a prudent person. And
that will be the most precious award for you, too!
